How to Survive Divorce - Financially, Emotionally and Legally?

Although instances of divorce have become quite common in our country. In fact, it is not much in the list of all the taboos existing since years. Still, marriage is a big deal in India, where two people vow to spend the rest of their lives together. Divorce is rarely on the cards while starting a married life. Ultimately, life happens!! The love birds who could not spend a day without each other end up at a point in life where they can not stand each other’s presence for some time. 

These things are not at all mechanical in a marriage. In fact, a bitter marriage leading to divorce can be equated with an emotional roller coaster, no matter whether it is a mutual consent divorce or a contested one. It hurts, it definitely hurts. And the question does not limit to emotions but survival. The answer to “How to survive divorce at 30?” could be like - Focus on your career, move on and find love once again, Explore a new hobby to distract yourself, prioritise yourself!!. But what kind of advice can work for someone divorcing at 50 and searching for survival tips?

Divorce is an individual’s battle where you have to fight alone, regardless of whether you have someone’s support or not……you have to get through. Certain common tips on how to survive divorce have been furnished below keeping up with the legal, emotional, financial tides which accompany a marriage climax.  

How to survive a contentious divorce?

When couples find it impossible to reach a middle ground concerning marital breakdown, disagreement, arguments and quarrels are quite common leading towards a contentious divorce. When either of the husband-wife is unwilling to end the marriage, grounds of divorce in India come to the rescue of the other. But how to survive a divorce you don't want?

A failed marriage won’t bring happiness for either of the spouses. Rather than compromising on your and your spouse’s mental peace just for the sake of ego, let it go mutually. Contested divorces are harder to deal with. It starts with quarrels, blame games, and goes on and on. During all such strife, not only the couple, but their parents, siblings, childrens, and sometimes friends also suffer. 

Peace is the ultimate key to deal with a contested divorce. Overthinking about the other person’s behaviour won’t help. Treating the other spouse with hatred won’t either. If doing it all on your own seems a strenuous task, seek marriage counselling from professionals. Talk it out…. all of it. Make peace with your past, your ex-spouse, and learn to move on. 

How to survive financially after divorce?

People often assume that the breakdown of a marriage is just a matter of emotional attachments to deal with. What goes out of sight is the financial pressure which comes along the spousal differences. Not being married any longer also means dealing with one’s own financial affairs. 

We have jotted down the expected expenses during a divorce:

• Fee charged by divorce lawyers
• Other litigation expenses of a divorce
• Maintenance/ alimony to the spouse after divorce
• Expenses of keeping child custody
• Child support/ maintenance
• Aftermath of property distribution after divorce
• Bearing monthly or survival expenses
• Affording a separate place of residence

The problem has been discussed above. Now those looking for an answer to ‘How to survive divorce financially?’, some expert advice may do wonders for you. Otherwise, it is always wise to keep a record of how a person is financially dependent on the other spouse. If you are a homemaker completely dependent on your ex-husband, it's high time you should start looking for a job or other means to make a living. If you are the husband who fears wife’s alimony, take note that your salary is going to be the basis for calculating maintenance/ alimony. 

For property owned mutually or in the name of one spouse for which either the other invested solely, or both mutually, division shall depend upon facts of the case. Same goes with maintenance of children born out of such marriage.

How am I going to survive divorce as a woman?

When a girl marries, she has a million dreams for her new household, new life with her husband. But when this sweetest dream breaks into a million pieces, keeping together one’s self is the biggest battle. 

There are various laws for married women’s rights in India that help the survival of women. She has the right to maintenance from her husband under section 125 of CrPC, while the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 does not specify the same exclusive to women. 

It is obvious that surviving divorce after long marriage is very difficult. More so for women than men because a woman surrounds her entire being around her marriage - husband and children. Those who are financially dependent upon husbands often have nowhere to go. But professionals like family lawyers will help them understand their rights. You never know when a closing door to marriage may lead to various doors opening for self growth and waves of achievements in the face of a new business or a job. Thus, rather than mourning the loss of a awful relationship, it is more rewarding to focus on doing what was left behind in the course of marriage, your own identity!

How to survive divorce as a man?

People often take men for granted. Some readers might assume the same happened here since men’s survival is being considered at the end. But here, it is not the same case. Men need a separate mention in such cases because these days, misuse of women centric provisions like section 498A make men’s life hell. 

Men have to deal with family grievances, fake dowry cases, domestic violence cases, effect on career due to criminal charges, separation from children, payment maintenance/ alimony to the wife, etc. Although it does not mean that all men are victims in divorce cases. But the fact that men can also be victims in a marriage should not be ignored. 

If you have been a victim of mental cruelty by wife, it is going to be a new and peaceful beginning for you. Take some time off for yourself after divorce and focus on some hobbies, travel more, meet old friends, anything that can help with self rejuvenation. As far as the question of how to survive divorce financially is concerned, do not give up. Get some expert advice through divorce lawyer in Kolkata if you are a resident of Kolkata, and understand how things can potentially affect you. This way, saving one’s own interests may become a bit convenient.

Winding Up

Gender roles are handed over to both men and women as soon as they get married. But when such marriage ends, not only a person has to deal with the absence of a spouse, but with the flood of memories built together. The combination makes survival after divorce a bit unworkable. If sorting it all on your own seems back-breaking, seeking professional advice harms none. One should always remember that marriage is just a civil approach, and life goes on for those who do not marry at all. Hence, take your life back in your own hands, for your own good.